Little Black Sandals

Southampton | Northeastern

How did you become so comfortable with sex and guys?

Anonymous

I honestly don’t know, all I do know is that I love talking about sex, it’s my favorite topic!! I’m thinking about becoming a couples therapist or sex therapist haha. I honestly think it’s the way I was raised because me and my mom are so comfortable with each other. I tell her pretty much everything about my sex life, we have a really open relationship, which just makes me more open with talking about sex with other people! It’s a natural thing and I wish people were more open about it haha. As far as guys go, I’ve had to deal with like every cliche relationship drama imaginable, so i am often the person my friends come to for advice, which I love. Im really good at giving advice (if I do say so myself) so that also helps my confidence!

a lot of my friends tell me I’m the most sexual person they know : )

What are some different things to try in the bedroom other than missionary?

Anonymous

You could try doing the opposite of missionary when the girl is on the top, it’s my favorite position cause it feels good for me but every girl is different, some girls may not be confident enough to be on top because they’re kinda doing all the work. You could do doggie style but I’m just warning you its a lot to handle, like you might not wanna do that the first couple of times you have sex. My friend lost her virginity this summer and they did that and when she told her mom that it really hurt, her mom asked her what she did and when she said doggie style her mom was like “uhhh that’s why” haha (they’re really close.) doggie style generally goes deeper and that’s why it hurts more. You could also do one where the guy sitting up in a chair-like pose with his feet on the ground and you could go on top either facing him straddling him OR turn around and put your feet on the ground as well, I like that one too!! Hahaha
I have more but those are like the basics

baeddeldeer:

Why do ppl get so mad when girls like themselves

(Source: deerdyke, via w-i-l-d-f-o-x-e-s)

ssleepover:

the music gets me every fucking time omg

(Source: farx, via rayecrumbcake)

You give such good advice! If your trying to talk to a guy for the first time what are some good things to get the conversation going?

Anonymous

aww thank you : ) well the first thing is to see what you guys have in common, like if you go to the same college or have a mutual friend or like sports. If you don’t really know what you’re talking about, don’t bring it up haha. But yeah talk about something you have in common, and don’t think too much about it!!! Thats when you start to stutter and find yourself saying things that you wish you could take back haha. Just let it flow, I know its hard to do. I don’t really know how to explain this but you know how there are those kinds of people who you can talk to without having to think about what you’re going to have to say next? (like your best friends, family members, ect.) Try doing that with the guy, even if you feel like you should be watching what you say. Just let everything be natural and eventually, if you guys click, you’ll be more comfortable/confident in talking to him

so I am 18, and still a virgin. All of my friends lost their virginity and i'm like the only one who hasn't. And as much as I want to loose it, i'm just so unconfident with my body. I would be like scared being naked around someone because i am so unconfident. So anyways do you have any advise?

Anonymous

my first piece of advice is that you can have sex with clothes on! I used to hate my boobs, like absolutely despise them. Every time my guy and I had sex I would keep my bra on because I hated them so much. But after a lot of begging and compliments from him, I decided to take it off, and he was nothing but supportive of me. He would kiss them and tell me how beautiful I was. I’m not sure what you’re not confident in with your body but if its something that can be covered up by clothing, feel free to keep your shirt on or whatever, its your body!

my second piece of advice is to work around your insecurities in bed. For instance, a lot of girls hate being on top during sex because they feel insecure. So tell your guy you’d rather do missionary where you’re lying down so you feel less uncomfortable. And don’t be afraid to tell him to turn the lights off, sex with the lights on is kinda weird if you ask me haha, its more intimate if the lights are off.

my last piece of advice is to be confident! Believe me I know its easier said than done, but you have to constantly remind yourself that your body is beautiful. And hopefully, if you’re having sex with the right person, they will also constantly remind you. Even the things you hate most about your body, they will love, I promise. My guy loves my small, weirdly shaped boobs, he tells me all they time. And when you open up to the right person and let them explore your body, they will make you feel so much more confident. If they don’t, drop that bitch

I hope that helped!! xoxo

Do you think it's more nerve-racking losing your virginity to someone who isn't a virgin? (like they won't think your good)

Anonymous

yes of course, but if its with someone that cares about you, they’re not going to judge you at all, they were a virgin too once!! hahaha. When i was with my previous boyfriend of a while, I had never done anything. 5 months into us being together, i felt so comfortable with him i asked him to teach me how to give good head haha. But if you lose your virginity to someone you’re not close with, still don’t be afraid that they’re judging you. 99% of the time, the person is only looking to get themselves off (if it’s like a one night stand type of deal) so as long as they have someone to help them they’re happy (kinda rude but you get what I’m saying, people are selfish haha)

I’m naked

I’m naked

You seem like you know a lot about sex. What would your tips be for actual sex?

Anonymous

ahhhh my favorite topic

  • Have sex with someone you’re comfortable with! If you can’t laugh during sex, its with the wrong person
  • foreplay is important
  • talk to your partner about what they like and what they don’t like (hair pulling, spanking, positions)
  • Be honest with them, sex isn’t going to be enjoyable for you if your partner is doing something you don’t like/that hurts you and they’re unaware of it
  • a good way to get your body ready for sex is oral, my guy always goes down on me before (it also gets really wet down there so sex doesn’t hurt as much) aaaand fun fact; women who finish before sex are more likely to finish again during sex, and if you don’t use a condom I recommend going down on your guy too, and don’t be afraid to get messy with your spit and what not cause you need dat natural lube for when you have sex since you aren’t using a condom~ 
  • foreplay is really important
  • make noises!!!!!!!!!! Even if you’re generally a quiet person, nothing gets guys more excited than moaning/saying their name or my personal fav, telling them to spank you heheheheh
  • try new positions, girls are a lot more complicated when it comes to sex and one position might hurt and one might feel amazing, you won’t know until you try it! And don’t be afraid to move a lot during sex, my guy and I switch positions like 5 times when we have sex. It might be awkward the first couple of times but soon you guys will know immediately what position you wanna do next and it kinda flows
  • FOREPLAY IS IMPORTANT
  • don’t feel discouraged if you don’t finish, i don’t know the exact percentage but its something like 76% of women don’t finish through penetration, so don’t think somethings wrong with you
  • aaaand last but not least, have fun and enjoy it! Sex is about enjoyment and exploring your partner. Don’t think about it too much, just let it flow and you and you guys will both enjoy it

I hope this helped!! Let me know if I didn’t cover any of your questions and what not and happy sexing!! xoxo

You remind me so much of my old best friend and it depresses me because we aren't close anymore :(

Anonymous

aw I’m sorry 

Im so bad when it comes to talking to guys, do you have any advice on how to be more comfortable/confident?

Anonymous

Honestly the best way to be more comfortable with talking to guys is doing it over and over, practice makes perfect! Sure you’ll have some awkward conversations, but the more you talk to boys (or one boy in particular) the more comfortable you’ll get with them. Also refer to my previously answered ask to see how you can gain confidence!